Love is a quiet, reassuring, relaxing, pottering, pedantic, harmonious hum of a thing; something you can easily forget is there, even though its palms are outstretched beneath you in case you fall.

Dolly Alderton, Everything I Know About Love

Love, love, love, love. Despite being posted on Valentine’s Day, today’s post is not about the romantic kind of love. This is the kind of love where you can talk about the same situation over and over with the same amount of emotion, somehow always finding new details to add. This is the kind of love that leads to late-night texts over a random “crisis” which will probably be forgotten a few hours later. This is the kind of love that is a million times bigger and stronger than a fleeting relationship that ends in tears. Some may consider love their greatest weakness, but it’s my greatest source of strength; I live for this kind of love. So, today’s post is a love letter dedicated to all my female friendships — to my best friends, my forever soulmates.

I thank God every day for my best friends. I’m no Carrie Bradshaw, so don’t worry — I’m not going to start revealing every intimate detail from our lives; what’s said in the group chat, stays in the group chat. But, I do want to share a bit about our friendship dynamics and what I truly love about us.

I have been an only child my entire life, but have undoubtedly experienced all what sisterhood is about. No matter how far apart we are or how much time passes between visits, I am forever grateful to have a second family who will always be there for me. With them, I feel a sense of security that differs from all else, knowing I will never be judged for who I am. The little girl in me is beyond thankful that I grew up to find sisters like them. I pray that every little girl, every young woman, is lucky enough to find friendships so powerful that they change her life for the better.

Our friendship grows in subtle ways. From spending every single day together from middle school to high school graduation and now, navigating this weird transitional stage of our lives, they have seen every form of me. Aristotle believed that there are three kinds of friendship: friendship based on utility, friendship based on pleasure, and friendship based on mutual appreciation of each other’s deep values. He calls a friend a “second self”. Our friendship goes beyond any category, but I can say with certainty that my friends are the better versions of me. It’s almost as if we have started forming into one another, so much so that it’s slightly scary sometimes. The fact that we show up in coordinating outfits without discussing beforehand says enough.

I love how perfectly we complement one another, and I especially love who I am when I’m with them. They help me find the confidence in myself that can sometimes get lost in self-doubt. With them by my side, I know that I will be supported no matter what. The unconditional love we share gives us the strength to pursue and share our passions without hesitation. My friends’ successes will always make me proud. In fact, we literally spent an entire day telling everyone at the mall how our friend got accepted to Stanford. (Love you, Nensi! I’ll never stop bragging about you.)

The beauty of our connection outweighs all the other problems life throws at me. When I’m with my friends, I can never be in a bad mood. Even on my worst days, one of their stupid comments will make me laugh. It’s like carrying the world inside our laughter, where the same inside jokes we’ve heard a hundred times somehow still make everything feel better (They’re only funny when we’re together). We might be loud and annoying in public, but we never care. Anyone’s opinion I care about is laughing with me. And honestly, we don’t even need to talk in order for my mood to skyrocket. Silence is never awkward with them. At this point we don’t need words to understand each other, we’re practically telepathic. It’s honestly the funniest thing ever. If you ever see us burst into laughter out of the blue, it’s definitely because we made eye contact and had a telepathic conversation. I promise we aren’t insane. 

So, to my chosen family: the love I have for you isn’t something that can be easily put into words, and I wouldn’t want to try to capture it in anything less than a lifetime of shared moments. Thank you for being a part of my world. I love you, and happy Valentine’s day!